Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
