oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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