fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
