after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Randomize
