I have demons in me.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
