What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize