it hurts more in the daytime
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
