Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
