saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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