census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
