Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
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