I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
My Higher Power is John Stamos
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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