What a fucking waste of an outfit
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
