how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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