the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
