I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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