Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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