Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
How naked do you want me to be?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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