from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
