i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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