1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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