You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
