don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
