You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
