So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
