Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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