i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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