my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
