looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
