i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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