and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
