why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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