We're like a lot better than the average bears
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
