You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
