he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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