so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
