honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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