She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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