he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
