I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Randomize
