we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
