Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
