my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
