I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
