Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
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