k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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