what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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