I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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