If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
