You just made me feel so damn special
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
