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You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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