I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
