well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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