It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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