guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
