Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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