dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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