East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
sarcasm needs its own font
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
