My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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