Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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