i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
We talked him into tasing himself.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
