just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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