why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
