so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
