he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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