Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
